|They are doing a great job keeping Portland weird.|
Too Weird and too big: Portland, Oregon
What can one say about Portland?
Too wet, rains a lot of the time, too windy, as the winds from the east side of the state are funneled right down the Columbia Gorge. Fact is the damn place is just too darn big and too weird for me. That said, I can see why so many people think it is the best city to live in. Not that I would EVER consider moving to any large city and Portland would be far from my first pick. If I did, I would be in jail in rather short order. No two ways about this.
|Great view from Portland|
At the risk of enraging those who love Portland, all those uber liberals who drive around in hybrids, ride bicycles naked and otherwise, think Tri-Met is the best transit system in the country, think the MAX light rail is a great bargain, why would I care if I risk making those who love the Rose City angry? Of course, I could care less if Portlanders get mad at me. To be sure, Portland has a lot going for it. Clean air, excellent water, right on the Columbia River, excellent music, outdoor, indoor sports scene, outstanding places to eat and there is always a lot going on throughout the greater Portland-Vancouver area.
As previously mentioned, we had to take our daughter back to school at gag, Portland State. I was not thrilled when she decided to go to school there but after a being there a few times I see why she loves the damn place. PSU is right in downtown Portland. It is known as a commuter school and I believe it is the largest of of the state schools in Oregon. Our daughter agreed to live in the dorm for her first year and she has done well in spite of having a roommate she barely gets along with. They actually do not get along well at all, sort of tolerate each other at best. She lives in a high rise dorm and that is all I will say.
So how did PatriotUSA handle Portland, did he embarrass the Mrs. and their daughter while tromping about the University and the Pearl District of Portland?
What do you think? OF COURSE I DID! There are just too many posers, hipsters, gang bangers, gangsta wanna b's, hipsters, hipster wanna b's, hippies, freaks, fairies, earth muffins, prairie fairies, tree huggers, the oh so politically correct who do their best to offend no one and by this very act are so offensive themselves they may be the worst of them all, and protesters by the busload. I just could not control nor could I stop myself from making way too many snarky comments. Imagine that, me making too many snarky, colorful comments, just loud enough to be heard by those across Burnside Avenue. Oops and darn it! My feet are still sore from the Mrs. stomping on them to try and get me to shut up. Heh! My daughter, totally horrified by my using the term 'ghetto' too many times. No apologies there either as the term just fits.
After parking the car for $5.00 for all day(a grand bargain indeed)at the closest parking garage near our kid's residence, I waited for the Mrs. and our daughter to meet me. I just watched the wildlife walk, bike, drive, skate or stagger by. The skateboarders I met were ALL extremely polite and very aware of the pedestrians. Skateboarders, in my opinion get a very undeserved bad rap just about anywhere we go. I find those who ride bicycles to be much more offensive and rude, hands down. So when they showed up, off we went on a walk to a great pizza joint about 20 minutes away. The scenery was incredibly diverse. From great old buildings to the newest high rise structures, the architecture is outstanding. We were headed to the Pearl District which is about as diverse as one can get, at least that is what it looked like to me. But then what do I know? I am from Spaltzville in Central Oregon, seriously the middle of nowhere.
After a few slices of pizza and a three large glasses of real Coca Cola, we wandered over to Powell's and killed a couple hours there. The Mrs. and our girl could spend all day in Powell's but I was already getting restless and feeling like I needed to do damage to something or someone. Some loser got in my face asking for money. I asked him why he needed my money or anyone's money since he could afford so many facial piercings? I suggested he pawn his piercings or make better life choices with his money. Next thing I know, his 'girlfriend' was in my face and she had even more piercings. I sure wish there had been a huge industrial magnet close by. I pushed her away from me(she smelled really rank, worse than rotten fish or really rank roadkill) and was more hairy than I am, not a good thing for a girl to be like this. I think it was a female of some sort. Her boyfriend came back and I had to trip him. He got the message and just cursed at me and then spit at me, classy, real classy. By this time my daughter had pushed me away and the Mrs. had also intervened, knowing quite well that I was extremely pissed off and bad things usually happen to other people when I reach this point. This always happens to me in a big city no matter what it is like. It could be Chicago, Kansas City, L. A. or Portland. The traffic, too many people, weird, straight, whatever, and the constant noise gets to me after a few hours. My daughter was muttering something like "geez, old man, we can't take you anyplace without something happening." After 19 years of being my daughter, you are just now figuring this out?
As for Portland? I think we may risk spending a weekend there before the end of school. My daughter has already assured me she will refuse to bail me out of jail. There is nothing like family, is there?
|Holy Mackerel? But this is actually a salmon|
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