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Banned in Berkeley
Brain-Dead in Berkeley
By Robin of Berkeley
A week in the life of an ex-leftist:
Disneyland may be the happiest place on earth, but Berkeley is the looniest. Imagine commingling with people who act like Keith Olbermann on steroids. Not a day goes by where I don't scratch my head in utter disbelief -- not just because of the insanity, but because two years ago, I was one of them!
So here is an actual week in the life. I hope that you enjoy this snapshot of living at ground zero, the birthplace of such peace-loving groups as the Black Panthers. All of the following events are true. The names have been changed to prevent my tires from being slashed.
Monday, Monday:
I am in Whole Foods examining some (non-organic) strawberries. Out of nowhere, a woman charges at me like a mad bull. She launches into an impassioned and very scary tirade about nasty pesticides and poisoned farm workers. I feel lucky to get out of there in one piece (but without strawberries).
Tuesday:
I spend fifty minutes staring at Obama -- well not Barack in the flesh, but his likeness on my young client's t-shirt. Fantasize about closing up shop and hanging up my shingle in Texas. But does anyone in those red states actually need a shrink?
Wednesday:
Head over to my local holistic pharmacy for some personal hygiene products. After handing over the cash to the cashier, she stares at me blankly. I look at her, she looks at me, I look at her, she looks at me...until finally I break the stalemate.
I utter the five most scandalous words in Berkeley: "May I have a bag?" What I actually want to say is, "Do you expect me to carry my intimate female products on my head like they do in the third world?!" -- but instead, I simply glare. Upon exiting the store, I am certain I hear snickering.
Thursday:
Over at my local independent bookstore (which, incidentally, isn't so independent that it would deign to carry a single conservative book), I stop in to pick up a Wall Street Journal. The line is long, and I'm in a rush. Though I'm not in a pissy mood, I might be sending out a serious, no-nonsense vibe.
A woman fondling a Noam Chomsky book sprints over to me and asks, all fake and syrupy-like, "Are you okay?" Befuddled, I respond, "Why do you ask?" (After thirty years in Berkeley, I've learned never to answer a stranger's question directly.)
She answers, "Your energy tells me that something is wrong." (Honestly, I could not make this stuff up.)
I say I'm fine; I shed the Wall Street Journal and race back to my office to foil Berkeley's thought police.
Friday:
Terrific day -- best one so far this week. Strangers have not preached to me; I have seen no Obama bumper stickers. No one has foamed at the mouth about tea parties and Sarah Palin.
Of course, I haven't actually been out of the house, as I'm taking a sick day. This sneezing and hacking is a most welcome respite from the real (surreal?) world.
Saturday:
If ever I need a reminder of why I stay underground, today is the day.
I forward an e-mail to a bunch of Jewish friends and family. It says, "Remember the Holocaust," with graphic photos from Nazi Germany. The text informs the reader that the U.K. may eliminate any mention of the Holocaust from its schools in deference to the Holocaust-denying Muslims.
The e-mail ends with a photo of the World Trade Center in flames, with the words, "Let's not forget 9/11 because we don't want to offend the Muslims."
The e-mail seems innocuous enough, so I dispatch it to people, both left and right. Moments later I hear from a Berkeley friend, Laura, who wrote the following, and I quote: "Dear Robin: I am shocked by this mailing. I am not going to pass it along because of the part that talks about the World Trade Center. I think it stirs up racist hatred of practitioners of Islam in this country, and I don't feel comfortable with that."
I'm tempted to write back, "What has radical Islam done for you lately?" I'm not sure which is more disturbing -- the United Kingdom's erasing the Holocaust, or the American Left pooh-poohing 9/11. The bigger question is this: How in the world did radical Islam amass this much power?
Sunday:
The highlight of my week! My sweetie and I hightail it to a magical, foreign land -- the suburbs! After driving thirty minutes, I know that we are heading in the right direction when the car in front of us displays the following bumper sticker: Liberalism is a Mental Disorder. I laugh uproariously while my leftist hubby scowls his disapproval.
It's a whole new world: No one is all up in my business, the streets aren't trashed, and I see only see a handful of Obama bumper stickers.
But the pièce de résistance is when I buy shampoo at CVS and the cashier places the product in a bag without even asking. She does so with a warm smile rather than a contemptuous growl! I now know ecstasy!
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So, friends, welcome to a slice of Berkeley life! If you like what you've heard, please support any and all Obama policies. Because the far left would love nothing more than to export its thought police and green meanies to a neighborhood near you.
A frequent AT contributor, Robin is a psychotherapist and a recovering liberal in Berkeley.
American Thinker
Here a few of her other artciles that Robin has posted at AT:
•Sarah Palin Is One Tough Mother
•Why Real Men Get Their Hands Dirty
•Paranoia Strikes Deep in Obama's America
•Blaming Whitey
•Tiger, the Buddha, and Me
•Power to the (Conservative) People
•The Hypocrisy of the Left
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