A declaration of morals with one foot in helll and the other inside Heaven's Gate

A declaration of morals.

An explanation is in order.

To the readers and followers of Patriot's Corner:

Once bitten, twice shy. In my case, thrice bitten, forever shy.

There are no two ways of getting around the fact that I have been missing from here. I have managed a post here and there but it comes down to the fact that life has been extremely hard the past two and a half years plus dealing with a fubar spine and shoulders. The physical problems and severe pain are one thing and if it was this alone, I would have been better off and more able to handle everything. Sadly, it is way beyond just me being an orthopedic wrecking yard.

How does one go about explaining this? I have no idea but here goes and yes, it is in the end, a declaration of MORALS. This is about my morals. I will give no quarter, no mercy nor will I compromise the foundation of and for my life. You can compromise and give yours away, I refuse to do so with mine.

What do you or I do when you are faced with the end of a 25 year marriage to the person who you used to think of as your guardian angel, the one that you thought would ALWAYS be there for you, through all of it, until Jesus called me, you home and I would wait by Heaven's Gate forever, for you to join me? I pick myself up, look in the mirror, see my faults, issues, problems , my responsibility in this, give them to Jesus, pray and ask for His forgiveness, help in staying true to Him, forever standing steadfast, steady, grounded, in my morals that have gotten me this far. I look in the mirror and walk away KNOWING I have done ALL I could. Those who KNOW ME, truly, deeply know me, know that I have lived  my life guided by strong morals, values, ethics, honor, respect and trust. Those who cheat and wallow to the depths of infidelity cannot say the same.

Cheaters never prosper. Those who fall into infidelity like the woman I WAS married to,  who are cheaters, betrayers, while married, who will cheat with another man, who himself is married, who's wife is dying of dementia, are not worthy of my devotion, respect, trust, honor or love. Yes it hurts and has hurt me badly. A place in my heart you had is now lost to you forever. I can and will remove the toxicity of you from my life. Not totally, but trust me when I say I will do this as completely as I can. Infidelity has always been a deal breaker for me and it will always remain so. An affair you tried to cover up under the lie of playing music and this being just about your art. No one was fooled except you and the douche bag you are cheating with. Not even our children bought your lies and thank the Lord they did not inherit your lack of morals or your lazy work ethic.

Am I perfect, am I without flaws or made of Teflon? No, not even close. Do I have partial responsibility for this train going off the rails? Absolutely. Did I take some things for granted? Guilty as charged.

But what you see is what you get.

Kind readers, you have seen this here with me. I have never claimed to know it all, have the answers or most of the time, even a good opinion. If I give you my word, shake your hand, call you a dear, trusted friend, you know I have your back. Once trust is lost, respect and honor go with it. You cannot buy these things back, there are no back room deals, even with the devil, that can regain your trust, honor or respect with me.

They say a man is only as good as his name and that is all he really has to stand on. Let me tell you here and now at age 61, this is true. If I had all the riches in the world and could buy anything I wanted or needed, said riches and baubles would mean nothing if my name was tarnished by dishonesty, dishonor, ethical misconduct, lack of morals or if no one had any respect for me. There are two sides to every story and while I have done many things wrong over the course of my life, in this, I have taken the high road as far as I could and now it time to take the other fork in the road.

This is about my morals and there are some things in this life I REFUSE to compromise. My morals, I WILL NOT compromise. Trust, honor, respect, duty, FAITHFULNESS, love, have to be earned, treasured, cherished and kept within the heart.

If you are still with me I think you have gotten the picture of what I have been dealing with. There is no marriage, no relationship, no friendship, that can work or survive without two willing partners. Forgiveness is one thing, and I have done all I could. Trust is another.

So yes, faithful readers and followers, I have been gone out of necessity and now it is time to slowly return. I have a few things to take care of first. My daughter just graduated  from college this past weekend, I started a part time job this week and the past 25 years of marriage needs to be buried and this door closed and the next door, entered, with morality and class. It is time to rise again, one more time, out of the ashes. This was my third rodeo and I seriously doubt there will be a fourth. Dissolution of marriage papers have been filed. The sun will rise tomorrow and so shall I even though I have always preferred sunsets over sunrises.

As the one who has ALWAYS handled everything, fixed everything, now I have to 'FIX' this. Having to dismantle a marriage and life together of 27 total years is NOT an easy or pleasant task. I would wish this on no one, not even Barack Obama. It is like being the one who has to demolish an old apartment building of 30 or so floors. One floor for each year where many lives were lived, created and died. Demolish it, implode it from the inside out so it collapses upon itself and does not ruin or wreck any of the surrounding properties or land.  There has already been enough collateral damages waged because of the betrayal, which was NOT MINE. Sort of like the Phoenix that rises again from the ashes of it's own demise. An interesting experience.

I just returned from a wonderful time spent with my daughter and watching her receive her Bachelor's Degree from Portland State University. She graduated on Father's day and watching this was the best gift I could get, next to her birth and the birth of her brother four years later. They share the same birthday.

I am blessed beyond measure, kind readers.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy"

Tags: Peace, Closure, Walk through THAT door, Jesus, The CROSS, Morals, Integrity, Honor, Trust. To share or post to your site, click on "Post Link". Please mention / link to the Patriot's Corner. Thanks!

6 Comments - Share Yours!:

Andrea said...

I/we hear you dear Patriot. Hugs. Really, really big ones!


Nick said...

"I would wish this on no one, not even Barack Obama."

You're definitely mellowing in your old age!

Seriously - it must have been great seeing your daughter graduate, that's just fantastic. One of those days you don't forget eh.

Nick said...

Btw remember that English guy on Facebook - if you still have his details you might want to ask him how he's doing this morning, haha ...


PatriotUSA said...


I slagged that limey as soon as I heard the score.

It was one excuse after another from him. Quite pathetic but then it is England and you KNOW that BETTER than I do.

Thanks to both of you. This was painful to write and while it is not much, it was a huge step, huge. One of many in this past week.

PatriotUSA said...

No, NOT mellowing at all. Andrea knows. No one deserves to be treated like this and especially when it comes to me kids. They are young and are doing great.

I am getting there.

Nick said...

I have to tell you, my brother's birthday was this week, and his daughter who is 12 now, was born on his birthday, as he says the best birthday present he ever got.