Gay pride marchers want to go mainstream but still retain "edgy character"

Author's note: Out of respect for those of you who have just eaten no photos are provided.

Awwww … poor widdle gays want to have it both ways (which they frequently do!).

Memo to gay community: Mainstream or edgy, PICK ONE! (And then STFU)

As gay pride parades go mainstream, activists debate whether their edgy character is at risk

Initiated as small, defiant, sexually daring protests, gay pride parades have become mainstream spectacles patronized by corporate sponsors and straight politicians as they spread nationwide. For many gays, who prize the events’ edginess, the shift is unwelcome — as evidenced by bitter debate preceding Sunday’s parade in Dallas.

At issue was a warning from police and organizers that rules related to nudity and sexual behavior would be enforced more strictly than in past years. Police said anyone violating indecency laws in front of children could be charged with a felony.

The warnings outraged some local activists, whose reactions swiftly echoed through gay-oriented social media nationwide.

“To make the parade more ‘family friendly’ and to accommodate comfort for the increasing number of attending heterosexuals and corporate sponsorship, participants are being asked to cover up!” activist Daniel Scott Cates wrote on his Facebook page. “The ‘queer’ is effectively being erased from our pride celebration.” [emphasis added]

If you're so terrified of losing your queerness, then don't go mainstream. Just like feminists, it's about time for gays to realize that you can't have your cake and eat it too. Queer or mainstream? Floor wax or dessert topping? Make up your damned minds!

Wake up, you morons. If you want acceptance from the general American public you're going to have to make some concessions. Assless chaps, public nudity, flagrant obscenity and outdoor sex in urban settings are going to figure pretty high on the list of no-nos if you want to flaunt your deviant behavior.

What's that you say? "How can we flaunt our deviant behavior if we aren't allowed assless chaps, public nudity, flagrant obscenity and outdoor sex in urban settings?"

Memo to gay community: DEAL WITH IT.

America's legal system has already been perverted enough in the name of providing gays unequal protection under the law. Asking for more inequality in the name of "equality" is going to get you a well-deserved smack down and not much else. Regular people are just plain tired of you whining poofters and butched out dykes. Your odd fashion choices and in-your-face queerness has lost all of the slightly amusing appearance it once had.

Instead, you have become legal bullies and behavioral thugs whose presence in polite society is as unwelcome as it is annoying, if not downright offensive. Nobody's interested in your choice of sex toys or who plays pitcher and catcher. Just the fact that you're on the away team has begun to grate on our nerves. Especially so for those of us who, in the name of fairness, once supported your rights to free expression. That's one mistake we'll not be likely to repeat. Notice all of the resistance to transgender lavatory access? It's a direct result of your "edgy" agenda and how the LGBT community constantly pushes the limits of acceptable behavior. Try and move the goal posts just one more fecking time and there's going to be a riot in the stands.

We're all tired of your incessant attacks on the nuclear family. You want to indulge in your nonconformist sexual behavior? Then do it behind closed doors like most civilized human beings. You want young school children to read books like "Daddy's Roommate" or "Heather Has Two Mommies"? Then go ahead and have your own school-age children read them.

What's that you say? You don't have any school-age children? Well, whose fault is that and why is it so important that other people's kids must have their GPA depend upon reading your pro-gay propaganda? It should come as no big surprise to readers of this article that the pair of previous book titles rank number two and eleven respectively on the list of most commonly challenged books in America. Just try and imagine the howls (and lawsuits) of indignant gay activists if some fed-up school librarian decided upon reading "Mommy Has Two Heathers" to her lunch-time book circle.

Long ago, a friend of mine predicted that the final uproar from heterosexual America will finally come when our nation is forced to endure, not gay marriage, but gay divorce. Imagine all of the seamy details leaking out around the edges of such court cases. It will be enough to cause collective vomiting. If anti-gay pushback hasn't already manifested by then, gay divorce will surely bring it about. Bet on it.

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